New York Is So Hot That Horse Manure Is Spontaneously Bursting Into Flames

New York is so hot that horse manure is reportedly bursting into flames.

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Image via Complex Original
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We're finally nearing the end of July, which means the days of being drenched in sweat after simply walking from one room to the next will soon be behind us. Well, until next year. But how goddamn hot is it really? According to the Department of Environmental Conservation, it's exploding-horse-shit levels of hot in New York right now.

The department received multiple complaints earlier this month regarding a flaming pile of horse manure in Throop, with environmental conservation officer Don Damrath revealing in a press release Wednesday that presumably unpleasant "smells and smoke" had been emanating from the monstrosity. When Damrath responded, it was concluded that the large piles of manure had "spontaneously combusted" due to excessive heat and dryness. In fact, the flames had gotten "dangerously close" to an area of dead trees and dry vegetation.

And just how hard is it to put out a flaming pile of horse shit? According toWRGB, 3 local fire departments fought the burning shit for 2 hours before claiming victory. Following the successful taming of the unintended horse poop blaze, stable owners were urged to keep a closer eye on combustible fecal matter.

But, hey, things will certainly start cooling down during the final days of July! No more exploding horse manure! Right? No. AccuWeather Senior Meteorologist Kristina Pydynowski said earlier this week that temperatures in, say, New York City will likely hit 90 for the rest of the week, ensuring "the longest heat wave for the city since mid-July 2013."

So, yeah, keep your horse shit cool.

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