Imagining Donald Trump’s Summer Playlist

Image via Complex Original

If there were Olympic games for one-upmanship, Donald Trump would take home bronze, silver, and gold, and probably insist that his own personal theme song play during the medal ceremony. A great candidate for his official theme would be this Broadway classic, which is pretty much what Trump tries to convey in every speech, interview, and idle conversation. If you think you’re wealthy, well, Trump will claim to be so rich it’ll make your head spin. Trying to build a skyscraper? Trump will build one of his own and make it way, way, taller. And of course, and perhaps most importantly, Trump is way more humble than you’ll ever dream of being. 

Trump wins so much, it’s as natural to him as breathing. He wins at everything from business ventures to personal relationships. He’s even said when he becomes President, America will win so much that we’ll go so far as to get sick of winning! Trump’s appetite for winning is as insatiable as his urge to insult people, and there’s no better song that exemplifies the art of the win than this 2010 track by the master winner of our time, DJ Khaled. In fact, if you’re walking around midtown Manhattan and pass Trump Tower late at night, some say you can hear its famous chorus coming from the building’s penthouse. 

Who is Trump insulting now? Veterans? Gold-Star parents? People with disabilities? Before every speech, Whitesnake’s classic rock anthem should play and warn Trump supporters that yes indeed, here he goes again, down the only road he's ever known.

If it were up to Trump to make a playlist, he’d probably throw in a song like this Ricky Martin jam in order to throw a bone to the Latino community. Much like his infamous Twitter photo-opp with a taco bowl on Cinco de Mayo, Trump would assume that a song with "Latin flavor" would make people think, “Hey, Donald Trump is actually a pretty cool guy despite the fact he said he thinks we’re all rapists and murderers!”

This guitar-driven hit ballad could also be the title of every Trump speech. Hey Donald, next time you’re in front of a microphone maybe keep some thoughts to yourself. 

There’s no one that loves America more than Trump (he wants to make the country great again, after all), so it’s a no brainer that the Trumpster would want a Patriotic song that shows voters that he bleeds the red, white, and blue. However, there’s also a good chance that he’d bungle the name of an American classic because, hey, whatever he says goes and he’ll probably wind up renaming the “Star Spangled Banner” upon becoming President anyway. 

The voting demographic that Trump aims for time and time again are southerners, and it’s safe to say that their genre of choice are the sweet sounds of country music. That’s why Trump would chose this Florida Georgia Line ditty, which is the biggest song of the genre this summer. Yes, that’s right: despite being filthy rich with the most expensive taste of probably any human on earth, Trump is just another member of the working class. 

We’re not saying Trump’s a Jewel fan by any stretch of the imagination. However, if you listen to the chorus where Jewel croons about the size of her hands (she says her hands are, to paraphrase, not big), the inclusion of this track will add a dash of truth to this playlist. 

It’s the song that blasted over the loudspeakers after Trump’s speech at the Republican National Convention, and its title may be telling something to Republicans everywhere. For Donald, the track may also be referring to his recent poll numbers. `

No, we're not comparing Trump to Burr, the enemy of Alexander Hamilton and the villain of the hit Broadway show. However, we would like to point your attention to a memorable line from the song that comes from Burr himself when he croons, "Talk less, smile more." Perhaps Trump will heed Burr's warning. If not, the thoughts of most Americans are best exemplified in the song’s next line sung by Hamilton himself: “You can’t be serious.” 

Trump supporters are stressed he’s going to blow it. Clinton supporters are stressed Trump could come from behind. The world at large is stressed over this election in general. If there’s one song that sums up the entire campaign and year, it’s this one.