Here's What Happened When a Woman Tried to Masturbate at Work for a Week

Did masturbating at work make this woman a more improved person, or nah?

Office workers
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Office workers

A new study indicated that people should be taking masturbation breaks at work as a way to "boost output and creativity." That might sound crazy, but there's really only one way to make sure this is true or not, right? You should know where this is heading.

Ellen Scott, a reporter at the Metro in the UK, put this theory to the test to find out if she would feel like a "more improved person" if she spent a week taking masturbation breaks at work. She even recruited a guy, I guess to see if there's a difference between men and women getting it in (on a solo tip) while on the clock. Keep in mind, this wasn't just a quick by-herself meeting in the whip or in the broom closet; she laid some ground rules.

  • For one working week, we will each masturbate in the office during work hours
  • We will keep notes to see if we are any more focused and brilliant
  • We will try our hardest not get fired for inappropriate workplace behaviour

With set rules in place, they were on their way.

The guy, Andy, ran into some issues with his inability to get porn on his smartphone while in the bathroom; also, he's more of a lying-down masturbator. He still did the deed, but you know, sacrificing. It sounds like as the week got on, he loved using well-lit stalls to get his business completed, although when someone in the stall next to him was in the middle of a dropping a deuce, it really killed the mood.

Things were a bit trickier for Ellen. Seeing as it naturally takes her longer to get off, she had trouble completing the act during her lunch break, and would end up just going to town on herself for five minutes, considering herself "done," then moving on. Even if she did end up enjoying herself, she usually didn't finish, which would make her eager to go back and take care of things while she was supposed to be working.

Their findings: Andy seemed to be fine with masturbation at work, as long as he could find ways to make the experience more enjoyable (great lighting, less people). Ellen, on the other hand, wasn't a fan of the exercise, primarily because she couldn't finish. For her, if you're not able to bring yourself to climax, don't bother. Most importantly, it doesn't seem like either really became better people after this exercise. They didn't record any moments where their work seemed to benefit from taking care of themselves in the bathroom.

So, ultimately, if you're down with getting your jerk on at work, do you, but don't expect to become super employee because of it.

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