Console Asylum: This Picture Is From A Game We're Not Discussing, But Hotcha!

The newest "Dead or Alive" title is gonna be busting out all over even more than usual. Just a bit...choppily.

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

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When Dead or Alive Dimensions—which features the characters above, and also you're welcome—releases for the 3DS, it will perform differently depending on whether you play the game in 3D or 2D modes (though, given the game in question, we're gonna go ahead and refer to it as "Double D" or "Triple D").  In 3D mode, the framerate is 30 fps, while the 2D version will run at 60 fps.  So the choice is between faster response time and seeing jiggle physics in 3D? Hold on, we need to look up "win-win" in the dictionary...yup, that's how they define it too! [Joystiq]

With words like "awesome," Valve co-founder Gabe Newell sounds impressed with Intel's latest microprocessor, Sandy Bridge, which is expected to take laptop gaming to the next level. Sandy Bridge? That's really the best codename they could come up with?  C'mon, man. Does that conjure up images of blazing speed? If you're going to go for a strange name, at least make it something like "Jelly Donut"—people may not get that name either, but who doesn't like jelly donuts?[A Vault]

Get your Call of Duty map packs and Guitar/DJ Hero content while it's hot! Activision has announced a sale on many of their Xbox Live downloads until next week. 50% off Crash Bandicoot? Somebody stop us! No, seriously, someone please stop us. We're already buried under crushing debt. [Gamers Mint]

After years of wondering why Princess Peach and Princess Zelda are constantly getting kidnapped, we finally have our answer. While it may seem shocking at first, after you think about it, it falls right in line with the cliché that some of us live and breathe: "Nice guys finish last". Captain Save-a-Ho can never compete with Stockholm Syndrome. [Kotaku]

The Game Developers Choice Awards nominees have been announced. Hmm, let's see: Limbo, Mass Effect 2, Red Dead Redemption... hold on, why is this INSANE GRAB BAG OF SURPRISES not being greeted with audible gasps and mass suicides? [Gama Sutra]

By Richie Procopio

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