Everything We Learned About Love From Kenny Powers

No need for chocolates and flowers when you have Kenny Powers.

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

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La Flama Blanca. The People's Champion. The Shelby Sensation. The Reverse Apache Master. The Man with the Golden Dick. Doctor Cock and Balls. It doesn't matter what you call him, just understand that Kenny Powers is the greatest lover who has ever lived. We've enjoyed every second of watching Kenny Powers (Danny McBride) fight against all the odds to get back to the majors and against all the odds, Eastbound and Down is coming back for one last, glorious victory lap. To celebrate his triumphant return, it's time for you do yourself a favor and let Kenny Powers save your relationship against all the odds.

Life lessons are a dime a dozen when you're rolling with Kenny Powers. In one half-hour episode, Powers can teach you many things about living according to his personal philosophy. From friendship to drugs to jet skis, Powers has words of wisdom for any situation you may encounter. Today we're going to focus on What KP can teach us about love. Kenny is a man who has loved more in three seasons than most of us do in a lifetime. He has been with innumerable women over the years: some he paid for in cash and others he paid for with his emotions. Kenny Powers has loved hard and lived to tell the tale; you should thankful to be able to sit at the feet of the master. Today is your lucky day, hombré: here's Everything We've Learned About Love From Kenny Powers. 

Be Upfront

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Know Yourself: Are You A "Tits" or an "Ass" Man?

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Remind Her of the Good Old Days

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Always Be Jealous

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Always Overreact

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Never Take A Hint

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Age Is Nothing But A Number

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If You Can't Say It, Let Your Clothes Speak For You

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Boyfriend, Husband, Fianceé: These Are Just Words

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Speak Your Mind No Matter Who's Listening

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Never Let Her Know How Much She Really Means To You

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Never Say You're Sorry

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It's Never Too Late For An Apology You Don't Mean

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Only Take Responsbility For Your Actions If All Else Fails

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Know When to Cut and Run

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