"Teen Mom's" Reason of the Week to Always Wear a Condom (Oct. 28, 2013)

This week, tensions were at an all time high between Katie and Joey.

Photo Removed
Complex Original

Blank pixel used during image takedowns

Photo Removed

This week on Teen Mom 3, the episode really focused on the ongoing drama between former fiancés Katie and Joey. If you don't recall, last week, the couple officially broke things off for good, after deciding that they shouldn't be fighting so much if they were supposed to be planning their married life together. Joey moved out to stay with his father, and this week, the former couple began their attempt at co-parenting—and promptly proceeded to crash and burn. Lesson to be learned here, kids? Don't get engaged before you're legally allowed to drink. 

Katie

This episode was not kind to poor Katie, who was still dealing with the break-up of her engagement when Joey dropped by with some "news" he wanted to tell her. News so big, he said, that he had to write it in a letter that he wanted her to read while he stood right next to her and stared. Pretty creepy, but Katie's not caring about that when she actually reads the letter: "I want you to know I'm seeing somebody else." Katie tosses the letter to the ground, picks up Molli, and heads to the car, telling Joey that she doesn't believe it only took him three days to move on from their relationship—instead, she thinks he was probably seeing whoever this new girl is for a while. Womp, womp, womp. Who woulda thought that the two teenagers who fought all the time wouldn't be able to make their engagement work out? Shocker.

Katie is obviously pissed about the breakdown of her engagement, so she announces to her mom that she's going to pawn off her engagement ring. Her mom tells her it's not worth it, though, and Katie seems to drop the idea...for now. 

Later, the former couple meets up again to move out of their apartment—and this is where all hell breaks loose. They get into a huge fight, which ends with Joey losing his temper, throwing his belongings around, and trying to actually take Molli away from Katie. He's only stopped by the police, who Katie's mom calls when she arrives and sees the dispute going on.

The episode ends as Katie returns Joey's engagement ring, telling him to give it to someone he means it to in a little letter of her own. 

Briana

Nothing can really measure up to Katie's drama during this episode, but Briana sure tried this week with her dating dilemmas. In this episode, Briana decides that she wants to start dating again, despite her mother Roxanne's advice that younger guys won't know how to handle a girl who already has a baby at 18. Like Miley Cyrus before her, though, Briana can't be tamed, and she starts to talk to a guy she went to school with named Jacob.

Concerned for Briana, Roxanne asks her other daughter, Brittany, what the deal with Jacob is. Unfortunately, as mature as Briana can be sometimes compared to the other girls on this show, she has shitty taste in men—first Nova's father, Devoin, and now Jacob, who seems like he could be Devoin 2.0, or something.

Briana is still hellbent on going out with him, and he actually does end up asking her out (perhaps hoping for the MTV cameras to tag along on their date so he can be famous too?)—but she's forced to say no when both Brittany and Roxanne refuse to babysit Nova while Briana goes on a date. Cold, but a genius move nonetheless. Briana feels like her family isn't being supportive, not realizing that they just don't want her to get with another guy who's going to livetweet their entire relationship like Devoin did. 

Alex

Both Briana and Katie had pretty drama-filled stories this week, so Alex's is a refreshing, calm change: Nothing really happened this week that's really worth noting. Alex decides that she needs to start making smarter decisions when it comes to boys in her life, and decides to stop seeing a guy who she went out with during last week's episode when she sees that he's making plans with other girls online—a dealbreaker for her, of course, since her ex Matt was friendly with girls on Facebook as well. Her family commends her for the mature decision, and we do too.

This isn't to say drama didn't try to rear its ugly head in Alex's life this week, though: At one point, Matt did call Alex for her help, saying he was kicked out of the halfway house and that he loves Arabella. Alex feels a duty to help Matt out because he's the father of her daughter, but ultimately decides that both she and Arabella are happier without him—and he needs to be more stable before she lets him near their kid again.

So, instead, Alex goes out to a concert with her friends, because that's what ladies in charge of their lives do. While there, though, she actually finds herself missing Arabella more, and spends most of the time showing off pictures of her Arabella and talking about her. Natch!

Mackenzie

For Mackenzie, this week was, sadly, just more of the same. Since breaking up with Josh recently, she's become more reliant than ever on her mother, and with her mother going away on a trip this week, she's wondering how she'll ever be able to take care of herself. Taking care of Gannon is no problem, but herself? The horror! It turns out that the week is good for her, though—it teaches her how much work goes into being an adult with a house to take care of, which is to say, a lot.

As for Josh, he still hasn't spoken to Mackenzie in a week, even though he's starting to miss Gannon. He finally gives up and calls—and actually kind of speaks real words on the phone!—before heading over to see his son and to return Mackenzie's saddle. Some people return each other's books and records at the end of a break-up, some people return saddles.

When he sees her, though, he ends up telling her that he wants to give their relationship a second shot (read: tenth shot), and Mackenzie is pretty thrilled by this. They officially get back together. Josh doesn't say much. Happily ever after? Yes, according to Mackenzie's Twitter, but shh—no spoilers.

Teen Mom's reason of the week to wear a condom

This week, the message was clear: Wrap it up, lest you want to deal with the breakdown of a potential marriage before you're even old enough to legally drink away your sorrows. Alex isn't even in her twenties yet and she's already acting like a forty-something divorcée schooling her friends in the importance of making responsible decisions, Briana can't even date and have fun like every teenager is supposed to, and look at Katie and Joey's relationship—the two of them can't even be in the same room anymore. Once again, Teen Mom 3 is the best condom commerical on TV, and for that, we couldn't be happier. Go buy some Trojans.

Latest in Pop Culture