Police in Oregon arrested a man who tumbled into a river after being spotted masturbating in public.
According to the New York Daily News, police in Oregon City, Ore. fielded a call on Saturday afternoon about a naked man who was pleasuring himself in Clackamette Park. Responding officers told the Portland Tribune that 31-year-old Ernest Kirk continued fapping away when they arrived, eventually falling off a cliff bank into the water during his quest for euphoria.
After the intoxicated Kirk was rescued and hospitalized, authorities charged him with harassment and public indecency, which violated his parole.
[via New York Daily News and The Portland Tribune]
Send tips, photos and news developments to cityguidetips@complex.com.