New Research Proves Chimpanzees Have The Cognitive Ability to Cook

It was previously known that chimps preferred cooked food, though their ability to patiently endure the cooking process was undiscovered.

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Scientists from Harvard and Yale have finally tackled the sole burning question of human existence — can chimpanzees cook? New research suggests that chimpanzees, in addition to slaying it in chimp-themed movies with legendary 90s sitcom stars, definitely possess the cognitive ability to cook. According to the New York Times, scientists have found unequivocal proof of chimps repeatedly exhibiting "the patience and foresight to resist eating raw food and to place it in a device meant to appear, at least to the chimps, to cook it."

As chimps haven't discovered how to harness fire yet, scientists were forced to create a "magic cooking device" — a clever transaction of raw food for cooked delectables involving two plastic bowls and a simulated "shake and bake" process. Reportedly, chimps quickly took a liking to the device — as proven by their immediate penchant for gathering different kinds of food for eventual cooking.

Dr. Alexandra G. Rosati notes that these findings prove not only that chimpanzees have the patience to simply wait on raw food to cook, but that chimpanzees actually possess the aforementioned cognitive ability and "minimal causal understanding they would need" to eventually cook on their own. In short, chimpanzees are brilliant and we are overdue for another chimp-centered blockbuster featuring an iconic 90s sitcom star. Science just gifted you with the pitch, Kelsey Grammer. The proverbial ball is in your court.

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