Extremely Sound Advice About Sharks From the Internet's Newest Sensation

A woman went viral after sharing this video on how to avoid getting eaten by sharks this summer.

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

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Newly minted Internet celebrity Veronica-Pooh Nash-Poleate has some wise words to share about how people should interact with sharks. Namely, they shouldn't. "Don't go to the ocean. The ocean is the shark's house," she said in a recent Facebook video that has been viewed more than 11 million times as of this posting. 

Nash-Poleate, who calls her online brand the Meat Ministry Chronicles and frequently updates followers with personal videos (you can watch all of them here), started out her "Summer Safety Tips!" video with a heavy heart. "I'm on my way to church this morning, but I wanted to make a quick video, because my spirit was troubled this morning," she said. She'd heard the news of someone getting eaten by sharks. "I want you all to be mindful when you're vacationing. When you're going to the beach, do that. Go to the beach. Don't go to the ocean."

"You watch the ocean from a distance!" She told the camera. "Please be safe; safety first."

Nash-Poleate said when chickens and pigs walk into her house, they end up on her plate. The same, she warned, happens when humans come into the shark's place of residence.

"Can you imagine how excited the shark would be to see me?" She asked. "Lord Jesus, oh Lord, no."

She offered viewers another piece of free advice: "Stay out the woods too, don't go fooling around with the bears either. The bears will eat you up, that's what they supposed to do, you in they house."

She ended the video with a blessing: "God love you, God keep you, and stay out them oceans, Jesus!"

Amen. Watch the incredible video above. 

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