Cecil the Lion's Killer Resurfaces, Says "Everything Was Done Properly"

Walter Palmer, perhaps the most despised dentist in the world, has resurfaced to continue his practice and throw shade at everyone but himself.

Image via Daughter #3

Aside from the obvious financial gains, no year is a good year to be a dentist. In short, people despise dentists. People despise the dental profession. People despise anything even remotely tied to the dental profession. For disgraced Minnesota dentist Walter Palmer, the public's general disdain for dentists simply wasn't enough. Thus, as the brief but impressively united media response surely informed you, Palmer decided to kill a beloved lion named Cecil near Hwange National Park in Zimbabwe.

The backlash, of course, was almost immediate. As Cecil's murder quickly gained national attention thanks to heartfelt pleas for change from Jimmy Kimmel and a slew of others, Palmer went into hiding. His dental practice in Minneapolis was thwarted by swarms of animal rights protestors, many in the form of admirable Yelp review hijackers. However, Palmer's period of self-induced exile has now come to a close.

"I have a lot of staff members, and I’m a little heartbroken at the disruption in their lives,” asshole dentist Palmer tells the Minneapolis Star Tribunein an exclusive interview. Joined by the reportedly "unpaid" attorney Joe Friedberg and an unidentified public relations consultant, Palmer offers very little in the way of actual remorse, focusing instead on the future of his dental practice. "I’m a health professional. I need to get back to my staff and my patients, and they want me back. That’s why I’m back.”

As for his thoughts on murdering Cecil and somehow giving dentists an even worse reputation, Palmer feels he did nothing to warrant this widespread disdain or any possible legal action. Though he says he "doesn't need a lawyer" because no charges are currently held against him, Palmer decided to have the exact lawyer he doesn't need speak for him on matters of Cecil:

“Everything was done properly. This was a legal hunt for a lion in Zimbabwe. And because of the professionalism of the people who had to help him, a lion was taken.”

Meanwhile, the Yelp page for Palmer's dental practice is currently experiencing another wave of unanimously glowing reviews:

 

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