In case you somehow managed to miss it, the wildly popular Pope Francis is currently cruising around the United States and dropping spiritual freestyles almost daily, earning cosigns from Kim Kardashian West ("The pope is dope.") and episode-long dedications from an enamored Stephen Colbert. He's strolling casually from one history-making freestyle to another, all while exuding an undeniable flex in his all-white attire because he's definitely not afraid of the religious turn-up. After all, Kim is right: the pope is dope indeed.
However, being pope was a far more pleasurable experience several hundred years ago, when some of them were still doing that little thing people talk about sometimes, a.k.a. sex. Though the strict celibacy of the pope infrastructure seems like a bygone conclusion today, there was a bit of leniency in those pre-pre-internet glory days, birthing a nice batch of heroes with a story largely left untold: pope sex.
Saint Peter, Pope St. Hormisdas, Pope Adrian II, Pope John XVII, and Pope Clement IV were all married, which means they surely all had sex at least once. Pope Pius II, Pope Innocent VIII, and Pope Clement VII were reportedly sexually active before receiving their respective Holy Orders. According to our highly academic and definitely thoroughWikipedia research, Pope Julius II, Pope Paul III, Pope Gregory XIII, and Pope Leo XII were even brave enough to become sexually active after receiving those exact same orders. An additional nine popes are "accused" of engaging in some level of sexual activity, though a lack of confirmation leaves them not worth mentioning and, quite frankly, rather boring.
According to science, some of these historic popes may have looked like this:
