People ride buses. Dogs ride buses. Snakes ride buses? If this esteemed slice of journalism from the New York Post is accurate, then the answer to that inquiry is a sad and terrifying yes. "A snake, really?" one predictably unnamed witness tells reporters, seemingly starving to make a quick snake joke. "I hope it’s big enough because I need new shoes and a bag."
Though this selfish (see also: evil, legless, armless, rude, gross, mean, dull, slimy, not a fan of the Indiana Jones franchise) snake was clearly trying to score a free ride from point A to B, dude was apparently left on the bus by someone perplexingly tasked with carrying a large snake in a bag. "A guy brought a snake with him on the bus," another predictably unnamed source tells the Post. "I guess it got too big for him to take care of, so he left it on the bus in a bag."
The heartless passenger was spotted by the B12 bus’s driver and quickly removed via Animal Control workers after panels of the vehicle were removed, with experts on snake-related science claiming the ruthless demon was trying to make his way to the engine. Because snakes are so evil they eat engines for snacks?
Quick snake avoidance tip: Never leave your house.
