Complex NFL Pick 'Em: Week 10 Predictions

4 P.M.) DALLAS @ NEW YORK GIANTS: "Giants, 24-14. New coach, same story. Giants will put the pressure on early and Dallas will fold. Good try, Garrett."

SNF) NEW ENGLAND @ PITTSBURGH: "PITTSBURGH, 21-14. This will be the game of the week, the one every football fan will care about most. Big Ben by a TD."

MNF) PHILADELPHIA @ WASHINGTON: "Washington, 21-17. Vick's playing well, but I really think Washington takes this. McNabb's revenge."

1 P.M.) DETROIT @ BUFFALO: "Buffalo, 20-16. Yup, I'm actually picking the Bills this week. I think this is the week we get off the schneid. Detroit might roll over for us just so they can keep their 2008 winless season record alive."

SNF) NEW ENGLAND @ PITTSBURGH: "Pittsburgh, 22-18. Pats looked weak against the Browns."

MNF) PHILADELPHIA @ WASHINGTON: "Philadelphia, 32-24. McNabb doesn't have enough cardiovascular conditioning to keep up with Vick."

4 P.M.) DALLAS @ NEW YORK GIANTS: "New York Giants, 41-20. The difference between 'America's Team' and Randy Jones of the Village People is that these Cowboys don't wear ass-less chaps when they get spanked. At least not on the field."

SNF) NEW ENGLAND @ PITTSBURGH: "Pittsburgh, 17-10. Have you seen Pittsburgh's D lately? If you answered yes, you should get tested, like, immediately, 'cause it's been getting up in everybody's ass."

MNF) PHILADELPHIA @ WASHINGTON: "Philadelphia, 31-13. Last time I checked, two good quarterbacks >>> none."

1 P.M.) CINCINNATI @ INDIANAPOLIS: "Indianapolis, 31-21. Fuck you, Terrell Owens, for torpedoing my fantasy lead on Sunday. Ol' garbage-ass TD-vulturing male model. That being said, Jacob Tamme is beasting in Dallas Clark's absence, and Carson Palmer ain't no MIke Vick. He is, however, the developer of an iPhone app that tells you convenient times to run to the bathroom during movies...ostensibly so you can send Ochocinco on a slant route to the glory hole."

SNF) NEW ENGLAND @ PITTSBURGH: "Pittsburgh, 24-21. The Patsies are gonna be mad after getting shellacked by Peyton Hillis' working-class hard nose, but this is the wrong team to take it out on. Tommy B, grab some Garnier Fructis and STFU. #weswelkerlookslikehesinthearyanbrothehood"

MNF) PHILADELPHIA @ WASHINGTON: "Philadelphia, 28-17. It was all nice and polite when Donovan went back to Philly, but now DeSean and 'em are coming to the Urrea to spoil the party."

SNF) NEW ENGLAND @ PITTSBURGH: "New England, 28-21. Pittsburgh's been on national TV so many damn times this season that you can make a drinking game out of the inevitable storylines: (1) yay for Ben Cocklisberger's heroic "comeback" from sexual misconduct; (2) wow, check out Hines Ward's awesome half-Korean blocking skills; (3) awww, poor James Harrison is sad 'cause he can't legally concuss people anymore; (4) damn, that Mike Wallace sure can fly; (5) look at Tomlin, man, he's so unflappable. See, I know way too much about a fucking AFC team. For the record, this will be the AFC Championship in January."

MNF) PHILADELPHIA @ WASHINGTON: "Skins, 27-24. I don't actually believe this, though. Vick is a problem right now. I'm actually kind of nervous about this game being at home, given all the McNizzle-Shanny fuckery that's gone on over the bye week. The Skins fans will be anxious and impatient. If we don't get up early, there will be a big boo-kake at FedEx—all directed at Shanny's sourpuss assistant-principal face."

SNF) NEW ENGLAND @ PITTSBURGH: "Pittsburgh, 28-17. 'We knew it had to happen once this year.' What, somebody picking the exact score of a game or me picking the exact score of a game? I'm going with the latter. My favorite NFL player, Hines Ward, remains so for one more week (until he plays the Raiders); don't be surprised if he maims somebody in the Pats' green secondary."

MNF) PHILADELPHIA @ WASHINGTON: "Philly, 31-14. McNabb been doing extra cardio during his bye week so he can stay in the game for the two-minute drill? Perhaps, but the starters won't even be on the field for the final minutes of this one. How come nobody mentions Washington as a possible Vick destination next year? I'll bet Kwak doesn't hate the idea."

4 P.M.) ST. LOUIS @ SAN FRANCISCO: "San Francisco, 24-21. Good ol' division rivalry. Niners (finally) got a new QB, so there should be no excuse."

SNF) NEW ENGLAND @ PITTSBURGH: "Pittsburgh, 38-14. The Steelers are the best team in the NFL right now, so it's a wrap for the Patriots."

MNF) PHILADELPHIA @ WASHINGTON: "Philadelphia, 31-21. It's gonna be tough for McNabb to play against his old team, and Vick is going to be too much for the Redskins to handle."