Andy Dalton took an L at a Cincinnati gas station Thursday at about 4:20 p.m. Thursday, as he drove off with a gas pump still in his Land Rover. One observer, a Browns fan named Andy Vielhaber, spotted the error and did his rightful duty of reporting it to the world.
I was just at the gas station with Andy Dalton at the pump next to me and HE DROVE AWAY WITH THE PUMP STILL IN HIS LAND ROVER.
During a conversation with another gas-pumper, Dalton got distracted and forgot to put the pump back. This probably happens to people pretty frequently, but it's hilarious because it happened to an NFL quarterback who already has a reputation as a bit of a goof. Vielhaber spoke with Complex Sports via email about witnessing Gaspumpgate.
"Dalton handled everything like a champ," Vielhaber said. "Well, a divisional champ, at least. To be fair to him, the other guy nearby was exchanging generic sports platitudes with him as he was finishing pumping his gas, and he likely zoned out a little when he was forced to answer with 'this could be our year' for the eight hundred and twenty-third time this off-season (I'm guessing) as he got into the driver's seat."
The nozzle stayed in Dalton's gas tank as the breakaway coupling on the gas hose released, preventing any damage to the pump. Another man at an adjacent pump saw it all go down. A gas station clerk came outside once the hose got disconnected to put it all back together.
"As soon as the hose separated, he smoothly backed up and got out of his car to assess the situation (great poise under pressure), but by that time the clerk had already come outside to try to get everything under control," Vielhaber said. "Dalton said something to the degree of, 'are we good?' while holding the nozzle in his hand, to which the clerk responded of course and that 'it happens all the time.'"
I could not make this up if I tried. This is the best Bengals story that I could ever hope for. Shell station on Delta by Columbia Parkway.
Unfortunately, Vielhaber didn't react in time to capture video.
@cincinasty_ I wish. Didn't realize it was him until he pulled back in with the hose still in his gas tank. By then it was too late.
Apparently, this was a bit of a luxury gas station, if that's a thing.
That gas station has the most expensive gas in the city. Not elite decision making. https://t.co/6rgSl6KKqi
@ClevelandCat @BarstoolReags Normally go to the UDF at Mt Lookout Square but I had Kroger fuel points. The place is only for the rich/famous
Poor Andy Dalton. He's already faced one awkward offseason by losing his luggage on the highway and asking for fans' help finding it (they did).
This all comes after Dalton's best season as a pro. With a 106.2 QBR and 25-7 TD-INT ratio, he led the Bengals to an AFC North title. They started 8-0 and were the AFC darlings for, like, two weeks. Cincinnati's season came to an end at the hand of the Steelers in the Wild Card round.
Vielhaber was impressed by Dalton's ability to navigate the tough situation. This is undeniable offseason training for the mental rigors of leading a team through a 16-game NFL season.
"All in all, I feel like this experience only made me think more highly of Dalton as a franchise quarterback," Vielhaber said. "He remained calm, worked through his progressions, and tried to make something out of nothing when the play broke down. He could've taken the easy way out and just drove away to avoid the embarrassment of having to return to the scene of his humiliation, but he went back in and faced the music (unlike Cam Newton after the Super Bowl, right? Just kidding, I love Cam Newton and that was a garbage storyline.)"
Andy Vielhaber deserves an award for this act of citizen journalism. As for Andy Dalton? Well... he's making $16 million a year and pumping luxury gas into his Land Rover. He'll probably be fine.
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